A Lesson On Black Tie, Pt II: The 2012 Oscars

A Lesson On Black Tie, Pt II: The 2012 Oscars


As was to be expected Hollywood’s ruling class came out in full on sartorial dysfunction for the Oscars on Sunday night.  Well, I should amend that, there were a few guiding lights.  But compared to the Golden Globes the average comprehension of the sartorial arts was roughly the same.  Unfortunately, I was unable to watch any of the show, as I was stuck at the office, but that’s why we have the paparazzi, right?  Enough of this, let’s get to it, shall we?

Okay, so according to Esquire Mr. Combs (or whatever name he currently goes by) had a person following him around just to keep the lint off of him. Bad. Ass. He is also one of the better dressed men I saw, he could just use a widening of the lapel. Note the pocket square, jetted pockets, cuff showing, single button closure, uneven bow tie. Well done, sir!
A solid strategic move by donning midnight blue. However, poor execution. That triangle of white shirt poking out under the jacket button is a cardinal sin of semi formal wear, as are flap pockets.
Judging by this picture one could argue that Mr. Rock is looking to reprise his role as king crackhead (aka Pookie Robinson) from New Jack City, but that just may be me. Extra points for the afro.
Kicking ass and taking names Mr. Plummer is in this velvet jacket and matching slippers. If i grow to be that age I imagine I will don velvet jackets on a regular basis. Except my jackets will have shawl lapels.
Although still he is still a legend and she is still a smokeshow I must downgrade him like Greek debt due to his adoption of notch lapels in comparison to his strong showing at the Golden Globes (although it is well known Mr. Clooney favors them).
On how not to do black on black. It is an offense to wear a black (or whatever color this shirt actually is) shirt with semi formal attire. But if you're going to make the error at least make it look good. Refer to Mr. Bale. But the jacket is great.
As noted black on black is a sin, Mr. Bale only makes it worse by wearing a long time. But damn, he kills it. Cue in background music a la Huey Lewis & The News right about........now.
Not so sure about the facial hair. But, Mr. Cooper is a fellow Philadelphian so he gets points for that and for the good tux. But he was a GA kid (so knock off a few points for that), I remember playing them in soccer every year; always a good game.
Um, killing it in the double breasted shawl collar. Not a fan of the droopy Tom Ford bow tie but praises to Mr. Hanks and Mr. Ford for everything else. Certainly one of the better dressed gents of the night.
This tux just doesnt look right. The notches are off and it is two button to start things off. But Pharrell had to make is worse by buttoning both! Shame shame shame...
Mr. Pitt is again one of the best dressed gents on the carpet. The jacket is to perfection. Now add a white pocket square and hem the pants a little. That arm candy looks rather promiscuous as well... And have I mentioned that lax in 90% flow before? Killing it 101.
Mr. Oldman does the 3-piece much better justice than Pharrell. But don't worry Pharrell, your still young and have time to learn. Note the nice tipping on the lapel.
Mr. Firth displaying masculine elegance. Nothing less. Superb job, sir.
HA, did you really think I wasn't going to comment on this? First, the dictator (Shacha Baron Cohen) snipes the best arm candy prize. Second, this is so absurd that I must support it, especially since he had the brash sense of humor to spill Kim Jong Ill's ashes on Mr. Seacrest. Just take note of the Gucci bit loafers. This reminds me of the time a kid dressed as a terrorist for halloween after 9/11. Let me tell you, small private schools just love that type of self expression...


  1. Great critiques. 99% of your comments were spot on. My one quibble: The tipping on Oldman’s lapels? Classic black tie never has tipping. Yuk. And he would have looked 10x better in a waistcoat instead of the “suit” vest–the whole idea is to show a “long v” of white shirt, and the high vest ruins that.

  2. I noticed Clooney’s lapels also…they just look odd. Notch lapels that big aren’t even stylish on suits (much less tuxedos)…at least not since the 90’s.

    I actually think Segel’s tux is fine…he just needs to keep his hands out of his pockets assuming his jacket is ventless.

    It’s not so much the length of Pitt’s trousers, it’s that they have too much taper…that’s fine on modern-cut suits but formal wear should elegantly cover the shoe with a medium-to-full break imo.

    I agree Firth and Cooper crushed it.

  3. See David Beckham at the Vanity Fair after party. In my opion, one of the best dressed men of the night even though it was not technically the red carpet.